An Anecdote

Nov 8, 2019

Part 1: My husband and I like to watch the series Blue Bloods. The other night he commented that it reminded him of how, long ago, we watched Hill Street Blues together. I looked at him and said, “I never watched Hill Street Blues.” Last night we looked HSB up to confirm one way or the other. It stirred zero memory for me. He made this up. This morning, a relative of mine, whom I’ve always had a special love for, messaged me to say how much she loved someone we both know and I have had lifelong difficulty with. She wrote that this person is who she always wanted to be when she grew up, and that she’s felt that way all her life. I was blown away. What had I missed? Who or what did she see that I couldn’t see? Our perception impacts our reality profoundly. I sit here this morning questioning everything I know, or rather, think I know. We truly see what we need or want to see – AND BELIEVE IT! Invitation for the day: QUESTION EVERYTHING!

Part 2: I suspect what my husband actually remembers is watching HSB in our home. We were newlyweds in its final season and were, of course, delightfully in love. It was a happy time. And now, we are enjoying his retirement. Another happy time. But really, I don’t know. And my relative and what she shared with me…I’m going to really look hard at the files of my memories and try to see what she saw. Because I really want to believe her and I want to see what she saw. And after that, I’m going to loosen my attachment to my past altogether, if I’m able, and see the present with new eyes. “One who returns to a place sees it with new eyes. Although the place many not have changed, the viewer inevitably has. For the first time things invisible before become suddenly visible.” These words of Louis L’Amour offer hope that this is even possible. Second invitation: See your history with new eyes. And be kind to yourself.